Everything Fred – Part 62

11 December 2022

I think my first Christmas boat parade was in Greenwood, Mississippi when I was around 9 years old. Mom and Dad bundled Archie and me up and drove from Morton, Mississippi to Greenwood (some 114 miles and a two hour drive). The Yazoo River flows through downtown Greenwood. Back then, the boat parade was tied in with a band festival where high school marching bands competed in a street parade. Boats of all shapes and sizes were decorated with Christmas lights, Christmas trees, and everything else they could think of. It made a lasting impression on me.

Last night (December 10th) I attended the Seminole Hardrock Winterfest Boat Parade (better known as the Fort Lauderdale Boat Parade). By my recollection, this is my fourth boat parade in Fort Lauderdale. My first exposure was at Pier 66 on the intercostal waterway on 17th Street. My second was at a private house on the waterway. My third was in a friend’s condo on the waterway and last night was at Secret Garden at the Pillars Hotel dockside. Of the four, I enjoyed the one at the Pillars the best.

Dockside at the Pillars Hotel on the Intercostal Waterway, Fort Lauderdale. P.S. that’s not a stain on my shirt – it’s Holley’s shadow.

This was the 51st annual Fort Lauderdale boat parade. It’s estimated that over a million people line the bridges, the intercostal, cafes, restaurants, condos, and multimillion dollar homes. One parade at a private home I attended was amazing. They probably had 100 guests and a huge buffet and open bar. They planned for the event the entire year.

The first trick in attending a boat parade is getting there (and back home). There are 16 draw bridges in Broward County and there are seven that have to go up and stay up for the parade. You better know the schedule are you can be trapped in between bridges. (We had to get past 3rd Ave and the Las Olas bridges.) Here’s this year’s schedule:

7th Avenue bridge – goes up at 6 pm and comes down at 8:30 pm
Andrews Ave bridge – 6 pm – 8:30pm
3rd Ave bridge – 6 pm – 8:30 pm
Las Olas bridge – 7 pm – 9 pm
Sunrise bridge – 7:30 – 9:30 pm
Oakland Park Blvd bridge – 8 pm – 10 pm
Commercial Blvd bridge – 8:30 pm – 11 pm.

The parade is 12 miles long and reaches from the Stranahan house on New River in downtown Fort Lauderdale and goes to Pompano Beach, Florida along the intercostal. The complete viewing takes approximately 2 1/2 hours.

The parade route is in black.

Of course, you cannot just start a parade – you have to assemble it.

The closed areas are part of the assembly of the parade and the sequence is done at the staging area. The western most staging area is less than 1/2 mile from my house on the south fork of the New River.

The second trick to attending the parade is to find some place to view it. There are very few public places to view the parade from the intercostal – it’s all condos and palatial homes. And I do mean palatial. You can fit a few hundred people on the draw bridges but otherwise you have to depend on the kindness of condo owners or book a table at a restaurant with intercostal views.

Jim, Holley and I made reservations for the parade on July 4th. We were watching the fireworks for the fourth on the dock on the Secret Garden and decided it would be great to do the same for the boat parade. We made dinner reservations for five starting at 6:30pm.

Our original intention was to stay at the Pillars Hotel (the Secret Garden is their restaurant) but there was either a two or four night minimum (I can’t remember which) and the cost of even one night was prohibitive. By the time last night arrived, we were down to the three of us. Even so, all the rooms in the hotel were booked as well as all the rooms in the surrounding hotels. It’s rumored the rooms were going for $800/night.

If you look over Holley’s head, you’ll see what I mean by palatial. That’s one house (two stories) and the property extends along the intercostal where you see the palm trees lit up.

Dinner, as usual, was excellent. Holley had the scallops, Jim the veal chop and I had a filet mignon. The restaurant/hotel greets you with a complimentary glass of champagne. Jim and I ordered cocktails and we three also shared a bottle of wine. Holly’s desert was an espresso martini! By the end of the night we were feeling no pain.

When I attended my first Fort Lauderdale Boat Parade, it was mostly small boats blowing air horns, Christmas music playing as loud as they could get it, and even people on paddle boards and kayaks.

These kayaks led the parade!

Some of the boats would shoot fireworks from the decks of their boats.

The theme of the parade was neon Nightlife Under the Sea

There were not so many “little boats.” Most were mega-yachts.

Notice the two mega-mansions in the background. I think this was the Hardrock boat.

As you might guess, there’s money to be found in the parade. It’s estimated the parade brings in $50 million dollars to the city. If you enter a boat in the parade, you have to apply and fit within a specific category. For this year’s parade, there were six categories: charter, commercial, government, nonprofit, private, and showboat.

The charter category entry fee was anywhere from $500 to $1500.
Commercial – $250-$1000
Government – $35
Nonprofit – $35
Private – $35
Showboat – $8000.

I have no idea the difference between Charter, Commercial or Showboat but I don’t think I could afford the Showboat. Commercial boats generally are advertising their company – mostly beer companies or restaurants. Charter boats are those normal charters available all along the intracoastal that are used as party boats during the year. Booze and food available for extra charge.

What you didn’t see was much Christmas theme. About midway through the parade the Santa boat came through and toward the end of the parade came a boat with a sleigh and reindeer. Otherwise, very little Christmas music.

I’m kinda like Mardi Gras with boat parades. They are nice the first time you see them. I went to Mardi Gras the first time with my cousin Jimmie when we visited her sister Jo in New Orleans. The next three Mardi Gras I was trapped in the city and couldn’t escape the traffic and crowds. Boat parades are nice if you don’t mind traffic jams (it took us almost an hour to get to the hotel which normally takes about 20 minutes) and tons of people. I’ve never seen Las Olas so busy.

I’ve lived in Broward County for 38 years and I’ve seen four boat parades. I think I’ll try to keep that average for a while. The best part of the parade was the food and company.

The real reason for the season is making money.