28 April 2024
“Wash behind your ears!” A phrase I never remember my Mother uttering. She uttered a lot about other things. “Keep your elbows off the table.” “Chew your food.” “Don’t wash your food down.” “Chew your food with your mouth closed.” But I never heard wash behind your ears. My Mother neglected my hygiene. I always knew to wash “down there” because of her. I scrubbed my pits to rawness. I even learned to clean the inside of my ears but never behind them.
I always attributed the phrase to some book I read, like a passage out of Dickensian novel. Probably about some street urchin taken in and sent to bathe. You know how those urchins are. “Please sir, may I have more.”
So any way, I was sitting in front of the tube and rubbing behind my ear and realized it was kind of gritty, kind of like toe jam (Mother taught me about toe jam). It was behind both ears and I got to thinking, “Oh my god! Have I been going out in public all these years with ear jam.” People were probably shunning me because of dirty ears. “Don’t talk to him, he doesn’t wash behind his ears.” I’m abashed by my lack of hygiene.
Trust me, ever since I found ear jam behind my ears, I’ve become a reformed behind-the-ears washer. I am now acceptable to go out into public. Friends no longer shun me. But why, oh why didn’t they say something. They are always eager to let me know if my pants are unzipped or if I have a piece of food stuck to my lips, why not tell me I have dirty ears?
How did I get to the ripe old age of 75 and not know about this? What else do I not know due to Mother deficit? Halitosis? Messy cuticles? Crepe skin?
Maybe it’s a good thing everything seems to be online these days. Zoom meetings don’t show dirt behind the ears and the people online with you can’t smell your breath. They don’t even know if you showered before the meeting. There’s something to this social distancing concept. Maybe Gen-Z has it right.
On another note, I started pulling out my camping kitchen equipment for Roosevelt. The room supposedly has a kitchenette but in case it doesn’t have pots and pans, I have my camping stuff available and my drip coffee maker. I have plenty of oatmeal and also freeze dried food.
Tomorrow is my six month appointment with the cardiologist. He’ll spend 10 minutes with me and tell me everything is great. Tuesday I have a PT with Shannon and then Wednesday I head for the Magnolia State. It’s a little early for magnolias but there should still be plenty of spring wildflowers.
Stay tuned!
